The Tear

This afternoon I had the perfect page planned in my head.  I created a printable for the women’s tea at my church tomorrow.  I was excited to create something beautiful to show other people.  God had a different lesson for me to learn.

Wednesday was National Women’s Day.  On my way to work, I was thinking about women in the Bible who made a huge impact on others.  Queen Esther came to my mind, and I thought about the crown in the printable I created.  One verse in the book of Esther came to my mind.

“For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14

Queen Esther was chosen to do something huge for God’s people.  She saved them from being killed.  She was full of courage and stood up for others.  God chose her and placed her in a specific place for a specific time.  He has done the same for us.  He has us in specific places for a reason.

Anyways, I imagined a beautiful page full of watercolor flowers and a crown.  I piled watercolor colored pencils onto the page with a little too much water.  Rip…the page teared.

I began trying to figure out how to hide the hole.  Washi tape, a giant tab, sickers.  The rip was right next to the verse, which I did not want to cover.  I became more and more frustrated, trying to fix the “perfect” page I had imagined in my head.

As I was near tears, I realized how ridiculous this was.  Who was I creating the page for?  For a group of ladies at church?  Or for the Lord?  What was the purpose of my time with God?  I should never do Bible journaling to receive a certain amount of likes on social media, or to show other people how pretty I can make a page.  It should be all about Jesus.  It should always be about connecting with Him and learning what He has to tell me, which is often different from what I imagined.

I ended up creating another page in my journal using the same crown.  I found some beautiful flower stamps and watercolored behind them, much like the page I imagined in my head.  God had so much more to teach me this afternoon than I originally thought.

What has God chosen you to do?  Where has He placed you specifically?  What is He teaching you right now?  For what moment have you been created?

Stay tuned for the free downloadable printables tomorrow!